August 24, 2006
Theresa, thank you for taking out the time to talk to CONVERSATIONS
about your life and your novel OBSESSIONS. I want to begin if
we can at the beginning. Tell us about your earliest memories
of your childhood.
Wow, my recollection of my early childhood actually goes back
to before there was a Michael Jackson in the public eye. It was
a lonely life for a young girl who was the middle child amongst
four brothers. I was not a physically abused child but I was
extremely neglected. At six years of age, I was taking the bus
alone from the projects of Columbia Point to the city of Jamaica
Plain to visit my grandmother. The significance of that memory
is that I had to go through the infamous city of South Boston
where I had to often dodge whites who would spit on me and throw
rocks. I was constantly ducking down to avoid getting him by
a rock aimed at the bus window. I had witnessed numerous traumatic
scenes, which included a friend of ours getting smashed by an
elevator and brought out in a green duffle body bag.
Mother spent most of her time with a variety of men. She was
a single mother, having been divorced twice, with five kids.
She had never relished the idea of having a daughter, which is
why I was left to fend for myself at such a young age.
Because of things going on in your life at an early age, do
you think you used music, books and writing as an escape?
Yes, I used music and writing to escape quite a bit. Writing
helps to heal the soul as well
I read on your website www.obsessionsthebook.com that it was
at the age of twelve that you felt drawn to one entertainer in
particular. Would you tell us how their music affected you?
I was extremely drawn to the music of the Jackson Five and particularly
that of Michael Jackson. I always felt he was singing directly
to me. When Michael would sing I’ll Be There, I personally
felt that he was telling me that he would be there for me. He
made me feel like there was someone who actually loved me. I
wanted him to be proud of me so the direction my life took was
to make him proud.
Theresa, there are alot of young people that are infatuated
with certain entertainers: having all their records, posters
and any article that they appear in. What were some of the things
you would do to get to know Michael Jackson better?
I wrote Michael Jackson constantly….Okay, I wrote him almost
every single day and I kept track of the letters (smile). I didn’t
write the normal fan letter. I wrote him about my life and everything
that was going on it. I read everything that I could find about
him. I would question some of the things that I read. But my
letters were more geared towards telling him about my school
grades, how my day would go and what I did in camp, etc. I learned
how to get his home address under the freedom of information
act because the post woman was tired of my sending him gifts
to a P.O. Box. I never acted like a groupie and I never tried
to have a sexual relationship with him.
When you began writing him, did you expect that he would actually
respond?
I never actually expected him to respond. There were letters
I received from the fan club people with autographed pictures.
That was discouraging, but somehow I still felt in my heart that
he was reading my letters.
Reading letters from someone you admire it great, and a dream
come true for so many. What was it like to finally meet him on
your sixteenth birthday, and how did it happen?
Every day in school, I would write on the board, “Theresa
Gonsalves loves Michael Jackson” and whoever was assigned
to clean the boards after school would never erase it but would
add a comment like….”but he doesn’t love her” or “he
doesn’t even know her”…so I vowed to meet him
by the time I turned sixteen. In July of 1974, I rode to New
York to see the Jackson Five perform and even though I knew what
hotel he was staying at I decided to go back to Boston instead
of trying to be a groupie to meet him. When I arrived home the
next morning, I called the hotel. Instead of asking for him,
I asked for his road manager who was Reggie Wiggins at the time
and they rang his room. He told me Michael was still asleep in
the next room. I had their tour schedule in my hand and knew
that they were going to be performing at the MGM on my birthday
and I asked Mr. Wiggins if I fly to Las Vegas for my sixteenth
birthday could I meet Michael Jackson and he said “Honey,
if you fly from Boston to Las Vegas just to meet Michael Jackson,
I will make sure you meet him.” With that said, I began
saving money to make this trip. I wrote letters to the MGM’s
President’s secretary who arranged my room and I also wrote
letters to every Black mayor I could find throughout the country
asking them to contribute $5.00 to my dream. They all wrote back
wishing me success with my endeavors but all stated they were
unable to contribute. I worked a part time job after school and
saved all my money sacrificing any new school clothes and I made
sure that I had straight A’s in all my classes so I would
be able to take a week off of school. In October of 1974, I called
the Sahara Tahoe Hotel in Lake Tahoe where the Jackson’s
were performing and at this time I did ask for Michael’s
room and was shocked when they put me through. When I identified
myself to him, he knew exactly who I was. I was in total shock
as he recited the dates I was coming to meet him telling me I
write it in every letter that I send him! So during the week
of Nov 20-Nov 28, I was made their guest as we met for the first
time.
How did the relationship between the two of you develop, and
can you let us know how it affected the rest of your life?
The relationship developed into a friendship. I continued to
write him and he continued reading my letters. I flew other places
to hang out with him. I was invited to his home and when he was
filming The Wiz, I spent two separate weeks in New York visiting
him. Once I was going to fly to London just to meet him there!
My relationship with him actually affected me in a good way.
I became a strong woman, independent and it surely kept me out
of trouble. In wanting him to be proud of me, I never did drugs.
I have never smoked cigarettes. And, I can gladly comment that
I have never been drunk in my life. On the other side of things,
I also never learned how to have a real relationship with men.
Now, that we have set a foundation, Theresa, let's talk
about your son Todd and the song "Billy Jean" and
the controversy that followed. First of all, did you know he
was going to be
writing the song, and how did you feel when you first heard it?
I didn’t know that he was going to be writing the song.
I wrote him letters about my situation. At this time I was 23
years old and of course involved with the wrong type of man.
I was living also in Encino at the time so I would see Michael
from time to time. I didn’t feel betrayed or anything when
I heard the song. I didn’t feel honored. That situation
exists with so many women, more so now than in the past, or perhaps
it is being put out there more. I had been with this man for
over a year and here he was claiming my kid wasn’t his.
His song let me know he could understand what I was feeling,
but that women often put men in that situation.
Since Michael Jackson has had his negative dealings with the
press, were you afraid of how the cloud of curiosity would
affect your own family?
No, I didn’t feel that his negative dealings would affect
us. We are very open and outspoken. I named my second son Mychal
after Michael Jackson but spelled after the ex-lover Mychal Thompson
who was from the Bahamas. I named my son after Michael as an
honor for how he affected my life. I have been asked my opinion
often and I will say that I do not believe Michael to be a child
molester. But I will also say that you never truly know what
a person is capable of as you take a look at all of the ministers
that have sexually abused children. Michael Jackson has always
worried about children. I remember being with him in New York
and I had bought him a gift which was a book on child abuse and
we shared our feelings on that even way back then (around 1977).
As for being asked would I let my child visit him…that
answer still remains yes but I would not allow him to sleep in
bed with him or any man for that matter.
I think I read on your website that in 1984 Star Magazine ran
the story saying that you were the real Billy Jean. Star, though
not without its credibility issues, has been known to get many
stories right. Did you agonize over revealing your identity and
how did that change your life from that point? What about your
son? Were you afraid of how he would be viewed as he grew older?
I didn’t agonize over that. I asked Michael if he was okay
with it and he was. It didn’t change my life much at all.
Both my sons have grown up being Michael Jackson/Jackson Five
fans. Their friends often wondered how such young boys were so
into the Jackson Five and now they know. As of today, my son
Todd is married with two beautiful children!
All of this has the makings of a great movie, so it is no surprised
that you wrote the book OBSESSIONS. What I am curious about is
why you call is a novel, and did that make it easier for you
to not feel a responsibility to tell the world all the details
of your relationship with Michael Jackson?
“
OBSESSIONS” isn’t really about me and Michael Jackson.
It is more about how my relationship with him actually led me
to have an obsessive behavior towards men. I am not ashamed of
my relationship or friendship with Michael Jackson and I shared
with the world as long as it didn’t hurt either one of
us. It was hard sharing my story of being obsessed with this
man who happens to be my son’s father.
Can you tell us about the man who you were involved with that
you felt like was trying to harm you?
This man that I was involved with was a very handsome charming
man. I was with him for eighteen years and we have my son Mychal
together. Underneath the charm however was a chameleon. He was
leading three different lives (that I now know about…could
have been more) and when I found out what he was truly about
I felt that he had wasted numerous years of my life with him.
I was truly obsessed with this man because I really didn’t
know how to be any other way just as I was obsessed with Michael
Jackson at a young age to the point that it directed my life.
One of the reasons I wanted to talk with you, Theresa, was because
I read on your website that you wanted your story to help women
to see that they can overcome adversities in their life. I am
curious to know some of the responses you have gotten from others
about your experiences.
I am actually amazed at the responses I have received from women
who have read my book. Most have read it in two days. I have
received phone calls from strangers telling me that they saw
themselves in the pages of the book and that it helped them get
out of their relationship. Sometimes it takes reading about the
same behaviors in others to see it within ones self. If my book
helped just one woman, I am happy that I wrote it. It is hard
to put yourself out there. I am not ashamed of the things I can
only change and go forward. I had one girl call me the first
week it was out and told me it made her rethink her unhealthy
relationship and she said she was going to keep it by her bed
every time she was tempted to go back. I spoke to her a month
ago and she is not back. I am glad my book gave her strength.
You have definitely had your share of success in the business
world, but your life has not been without difficulty. I know
you are currently battling a life-threatening illness. What has
been your goal in life as you look forward to the future?
I actually am looking forward to my new book coming out “The
Man in the Woods” another fact based story. With my illness,
I choose not to be limited. I do my own research and I have a
wonderful doctor who actually cares. But since being diagnosed
with Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis, the same illness that took
the life of Walter Payton, I have taken on the motto of LIVE
LIFE and that is what I intend to do everyday! I am also looking
to try to reach out to other Black authors. While there are many,
there aren’t that many who make it. That really bothers
me. The literary world is still mainly a White based world. It
is they who decide what gets read. Almost every well known Black
author has had to self publish first. If Man in the Woods becomes
a success, then I intend to take that success and use it for
our advantage.
Can you give us an idea of what we can expect from you as far
as other books are concerned?
Right now, I am finishing my book Man in the Woods. It is a fact
based story detailing the life of a family member who has been
molesting little boys for over twenty five years. After trying
to have him put away and learning that it was futile because
I was not a victim, I take a psychological approach and take
you back into the life and through the mind of a child molester.
It is really very good and suspenseful.
After Man in the Woods, I am co-writing another book to help
a sister get through her healing in life. And on the back burner
I have a book called UTERUS FREE, a humorous take on hysterectomies.
Finally, when was the last time you spoke to Michael Jackson,
and what has been his response to the book?
I haven’t actually spoken to Michael Jackson since he was
arrested. I took my son to meet him for the first time. He seems
to have put most people at a distance. I was trying to get in
touch with him though because I want to let him know he is not
alone. See with Michael, I have never been a “YES” person.
I never treated him like a star. He needed to have real people
in his life. Yes, I came to love him for who he was, but I love
him more for what he did for my life. He was okay with my using
the title as such and I know he received a copy of the book…I
have not heard any comments from him.
Thank you so much for your time. It has been a pleasure. Is
there any advice you want to leave our readers with?
In closing, I will say that parents should take a look at the
stars today that their children idolize. Today’s entertainers
would not be the savoir of any children. We should try to save
our own children and not let them drift into the world of today’s
entertainers, sports stars, etc. We need to teach them to have
their own identities.
